Jesus AND Therapy

Have you ever found yourself feeling the pressure to choose one thing over another? Perhaps when you witness injustice, do you feel pressure to choose between action and prayer? Perhaps you’ve felt the tension that exists between Jesus being your help and getting therapy? I know I have felt this tension in a lot of ways about a lot of things!  Life is full of many choices. This morning I will choose to put on the same gray Carhartt t-shirt, jeans, and black and white Air Force 1’s as I do every day! I may get real wild and wear something different than a camo hat, who knows! Life is full of choices, it often seems as if these choices are presented as an either/rather than a both/and, especially the big ones! 

Why do we often revert to an either/or mindset? I think for me knowing THE RIGHT way or simply having a clear direction feels safe. If I know with certainty that this is the next right choice over another choice that I could make, it feels safer, even if what I’m feeling is merely a sense of safety and not the real thing. I am often prone to settle for a sense of something because often that sense of something comes with less pain than choosing the real thing would. 

There are a lot of strong feelings about therapy. From within the Church, there often comes strong advocacy for Nouthetic Counseling,  a form of evangelical Protestant pastoral counseling based upon conservative evangelical interpretation of the Bible. It repudiates mainstream psychology and psychiatry as humanistic, fundamentally opposed to Christianity, and radically secular. While I believe that Nouthetic Counseling certainly has its place and can be helpful, it is the repudiation of mainstream psychology and psychiatry as humanistic, fundamentally opposed to Christianity, and radically secular that I have trouble with. Counseling isn’t the only place this us-vs-them arrogance shows up though, it shows up in many ways and often in ways that make enemies out of people that simply aren’t enemies! Again, I feel like this comes in pursuit of safety and control! 

I’d like to advocate for both/and approaches to counseling. One that welcomes Jesus AND Therapy as friends not enemies, and doesn’t force us to choose one over the other. I have gotten counseling over the past 38 years of my life in many formats. Sometimes this has come in the form of Pastoral or Biblical counseling similar to what was described in the definition of Nouthetic Counseling above and it’s been deeply helpful! I’ve also received therapy from well-respected, well-educated psychotherapists and psychologists and this has been deeply helpful as well. I love therapy!

Currently, I’m involved in family therapy with my 16-year-old son and wife, my wife and I see a psychotherapist on a quarterly basis to work on our marriage, I have a Spiritual Life Coach who counsels me, and I get regular counsel from the men whom I Pastor Missio Dei Church with, and see a DARTT (Developmental and Relational Trauma Therapy) psychotherapist every other week. None of this is done in the absence of Jesus. Each of these providers are professionals in their own right within the world of secular psychology and therapy AND loves Jesus! For me, this is the most beautiful of combinations! The counsel I receive is emphatically not of the Nouthetic variety but it is done in the trusted relationship of two people who deeply love Jesus and I think that has been a huge part of my healing journey. There is something mysterious and beautiful that takes place in addition to the incredible strategies that I’m learning, the discoveries that I am making, and the ways that I am growing that happen in the exchange of presence. The Spirit of God that is alive in my providers and the Spirit of God that is alive in me is exchanged and absorbed. This is not a diminishment of their skills, education, or credentials but I believe that my provider's ability to be a safe, inviting presence is a large part of why therapy has been so helpful for me.  I get to show up and be me, the real me. The safety that is established invites all parts of me to show up, not just the polished, put-together confident parts of me that show up in day-to-day life. 

I want to be charitable, and I also understand that many in the secular psychology world can be vocally critical of faith generally and Biblical Counseling specifically as if it has no benefit or can be of no help. Again, I feel like this is often sourced from a place of safety and control. When things are not familiar to us, uncomfortable for us, and haven’t personally helped us when we’ve needed them we can dismiss them altogether. This isn’t the way of Jesus. Jesus seemed to make space for both/and for many things in life. Paul continues this, in fact, I low-key think Paul may have been an early Psychologist. The things he wrote about and the ways he wrote about them are incredible. In many ways, secular Psychology is catching up and putting more words to what Paul originally offered. There are many examples, but I’ll give you one of them. In Romans 12 Paul talks about being transformed by the renewal of your mind. Psychological brain science over the last 70 years or so has discovered “neuroplasticity”. Simply it means that our brains have the capacity to change due to the circumstances, environments, and relationships we find ourselves in. The term “neuroplasticity” was first used by Polish neuroscientist Jerzy Konorski in 1948 to describe observed changes in neuronal structure (neurons are the cells that make up our brains), although it wasn't widely used until the 1960s a lot of research has been done about it since. It’s a beautiful reality. We can literally be changed as we experience new things, in different environments, and with other people. We do not have to be stuck in the ruts of our lives left by our own choices or traumatic experiences. In many ways, I believe that Paul is describing this exact phenomenon of our humanity! 

This is why a vibrant relationship with Jesus is so vital! As we spend time with Jesus we are being changed, we are becoming more like Him. We learn to relax in the relaxing presence of Jesus. We learn to give and receive love in the loving presence of Jesus. We learn to be patient with others and ourselves as Jesus is patient with us. The journey of growth for the Christian must include being with Jesus. In the same way, I’ve found there is a beautiful transaction within therapy where I’m learning that there is a new way to live, a new way to think, and a new way to interpret events of my life that have been deeply helpful. The safety that is created by my providers allows me to show up authentically, and this has certainly had a profound effect on how I show up in all of my relationships including my relationship with Jesus. Both for me have been a means of God’s grace!

This either/or and all or nothing mentality doesn’t make sense to me. What would it look like for us to hold space for therapy from good, trusted providers AND Jesus?  I can both ask Jesus for help, and seek help from a trusted provider. God in His common grace has gifted these men and women with incredible gifts, resources, education, and a calm presence, and we would be foolish not to receive it when and where needed! If you have any questions about counseling or therapy please feel free to reach out to me at any time. My email is mkorte@missiodei.org. If you are interested in finding out more information about various types of care and counseling or are looking for recommended therapy providers you can visit our webpage for care at www.missiodei.org/care.  Our help does come from the Lord, and one of the ways I believe He helps is through counseling and therapy! We need Jesus AND Therapy!

Submitted by: Matt Korte