Presence Matters
What a year, am I right? As there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel with restrictions lifting and vaccinations increasing I have spent some time the past couple of weeks considering these questions, “what was good about life pre-covid that I want to continue, and what wasn’t good about life pre-covid that I don’t want to continue?” Also, “what has been good about life during covid that I want to continue, and what hasn’t been good about life during covid that I don’t want to continue?” For each of us, the answers to these questions would certainly vary, but they’re good questions to consider nonetheless. Heading into this next season of life and ministry I feel similar as I feel at the start of a favorite season or the start of a new year, reflective about the closing of one season and anticipating the freshness of a new season. I love these new beginnings. While this life season transition seems different than any other life season transition, the beauty and the difficulty of a life transition season feel very present.
As I reflect back on the past year or so there is much loss to grieve and many changes to our normal ways of life that have been difficult and challenging to navigate. I have lost family members, and many of you have as well. I know a number of friends and family who have lost jobs. Many of us have lost friends and feel distant from family members because of health concerns, strong political opinions, and perhaps a variety of other reasons. I learned a lot about myself, my leadership, and the people around me. I’ve been thankful for my discipleship and spiritual formation journey and I have felt the burden of the ways this season has exposed some weaknesses and sin in my life. I’ve been thankful for the ways that my leadership is connecting to those I’ve been entrusted to lead and been grieved by the holes that I’ve been exposed to within my leadership and discipleship of other people. Some of this learning has been surprising, helpful, clarifying and some of it has just been downright painful and exhausting. I know that I’m a very different person than I was a year ago and most of the people I’m around on a regular basis are different as well. Some of the ways I have seen myself change are exciting and other ways I have seen myself change have been challenging. I’ve learned many many lessons that I’m hopeful will shape and inform the trajectory of the rest of my life. There have been many difficulties, that is for sure, but there has been much joy. I’m learning more and more by the grace of God the importance of being present with God, present with myself, and present with others! Presence matters, this season for me has been one of learning just how true and deep presence does matter.
In some ways, the last year gave me more opportunities to be present with God, myself, and others and in other ways, opportunities were stripped away for one reason or another. I’ve enjoyed the extra times that I have had to be present with God, myself, and the family that lives inside of the same house as I do but I've felt disconnected from extended family and huge parts of my Church Community. Our normal rhythms for Church Community were disrupted and I feel that immensely. My heart is craving personal interaction fiercely, while at the same time personal interaction feels out of rhythm, and uncertain. Over the past year I have changed so much, and so have many people that were a regular part of my life. I often find my mind anxiously riddled with many questions and insecurities. What if I changed so much that the people that used to enjoy being around me no longer do, and vice versa? I’ve grown more introverted over this past year so what if I do not have the energy to keep up with personal interactions like I used to be able to do? Are we going to be able to bounce back from the political differences and relational distances? Questions like these seem unrelenting, and then there are the less significant challenges of getting back into the rhythms of putting on normal clothes, haha!
I’m not naive to think that things just bounce back to normal and life as we formerly knew it just goes back to the way it was. The world has changed and is changing. I’ve changed and am changing. The people in my life have changed and are changing. The transition seems constant and inevitable. A noisy world has grown increasingly noisy. There are so many voices vying for my attention externally and internally there is a constant monologue that is fueled by anxiety and insecurity. Sometimes I feel trapped by these realities, don’t you? Often my deepest desires are peace and quiet but very few things in life are pushing me towards these things. I’m not sure where you find yourself on the journey to a new normal or a new you or what specific challenges you are facing as life is moving towards a transition to a new normal, but my guess is your experience isn’t super disconnected from mine. Sure, the specifics, the implications, and the intensity levels may be unique but we are all in a season where we are trying to pick up the pieces from this past season and are figuring out what it’s going to look like to navigate this next season.
One of the greatest gifts of this past year for me has been learning that the greatest gift that I have to offer the people and the world around me is my transformed and transforming presence. Having more time to be present with me and present with Jesus has enabled me to be present with people during their most difficult seasons. Spiritual disciplines such as sabbath, silence & solitude, and contemplative prayer have been such a gift to this end of being present with God, myself, and others. Scripture heralds the importance of presence in our spiritual formation. Psychology upholds the importance of presence in our personal development. The reality is that we are defined by and developed within our relationships. When I’m present with God, I’m being transformed. I’m taking on His presence as my own. Christ has removed all obstacles and has overcome each and every barrier that is keeping me from relationship with and participating in the life of God. The Holy Spirit indwells those who believe enabling this participation in the life of God. God is near, not distant and that presence brings comfort, peace, and transformation. We need the presence of God in our life.
Similarly, we are defined and developed in our relationships with God’s people. The Spirit of God within us connects us to the Spirit of God within other people. We absorb their presence, and they absorb ours. We are permeable people who take on what and who is around us. This is foundational to our spiritual formation and personal development. Many of our wounds and challenges have come to us in relationships and our healing and transformation will come through relationships. I’ve learned a lot of bad and unhealthy ways of relating in relationships and I’ll learn new and healthy ways of relating in relationships. We are designed for and defined by our relationships, so presence matters. One of the tools that have been so helpful for me in my learning to be present with God, myself, and inevitably others is the discipline of contemplative prayer. Through it I’ve learned to be present with God and myself. In learning to be present with God and me I am learning to be present with others. As we anticipate and navigate this season of transitioning from disconnection to connection may we all learn the importance of presence with God, ourselves, and others. I believe that contemplative prayer is a good step in that direction and I would encourage you to consider how God may invite you to be with him through this means.
God has used contemplative prayer to disrupt and remove things that I'm clinging to that were keeping me from being with him. Contemplative prayer is prayer as a relationship and not a transaction. It’s coming into God’s presence to be with Him, not to relay a list of things I want from Him. St. Augustine, one of my favorite early church writers and thinkers, said “God is more near to you than you are to yourself.” Contemplative prayer has been the means by which God has brought me near to myself and to Him. The outflow of that presence has empowered me to be present with other people in meaningful and non-anxious ways. There is a refreshing simplicity to contemplative prayer that highlights my being with God and not my doing for God. Life often feels very complex, noisy, and busy our prayer life doesn't have to be.
Below I’ve included a few instructions and examples of the ways that I practice the discipline of Contemplative Prayer. My prayer is that it helps you on your journey in learning to be present with God, yourself, and others in meaningful and transformative ways.
Contemplative Prayer
Find a quiet Place
Minimize interruptions or distractions as much as possible. Consider life seasons and times of the day that may provide a quiet space to spend time being with God. My season of life may be different than yours and you may not have this space in your home, but I have a chair in my home office where I go to practice contemplative prayer. (Pictured in thumbnail image)
Find a good chair · Sit upright
I try to avoid laying down or reclining back. I sit upright in a posture of attentiveness and stillness. You could bow your head, close your eyes, lift your hands, hold your hands out in an open posture. I refer to this as a posture of receiving, and typically close my eyes and sit with my palms open to God ready to receive whatever he gives me in that moment or throughout the day.
Set a timer · start with 5 minutes
Pay attention to your breathing. Breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and breathe out for 8 seconds. As you breathe in, offer a simple prayer that you can express within the 4 seconds of breathing in. For example, “Welcome Jesus”, “I need you Jesus”, “Teach me to be still Jesus.” Make it personal, consider the day ahead, the day that has passed, significant moments, etc. Rest in God’s presence, pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, breathing, heart rate. Consider what distractions may be present and how might these be invitations from God.
Journal your thoughts and reflections
Journaling has been such a gift of a tool and resource for me. It helps me reflect on my experiences of being present with God, myself, and others. For this purpose I often answer questions connected to my contemplative prayer times:
What was my experience of God and myself?
How did it feel to breathe, and pay attention to my breathing?
What were some thoughts and emotions that came to mind? Paying close attention to fears, shame, disappointments/discouragements.
Did your desire for the presence of God grow? Did it diminish?
What are some challenges you experienced or anticipate experiencing in being with God?
Submitted by: Matthew Korte