Living in the Tension

Lately, I have been on a journey pursuing simplicity in many areas of my life.  The pursuit of simplicity isn’t a bad thing, in fact in a lot of areas of my life it has freed me up as I've removed the less meaningful things in my life, I have been able to fill it with things that are deeply meaningful to me. It’s been a fun and joy-filled journey for the most part. One of the challenges that have come with this journey of pursuing simplicity, is that not everything in life is simple. Some seasons of life are filled with more uncertainty than certainty. Some seasons of life are filled with more pain than joy. Some seasons of life are filled with more questions than answers. Some seasons of life are filled with more grief than celebration. How do we make sense of these seasons? How do we assign meaning to these seasons? These aspects of my life certainly haven’t grown more simple, as many other practical things about my life have gotten more simple. I have fewer clothes in my closet, keeping only those things that I enjoy wearing. My diet has grown more simple, as I’ve learned to eat things that fuel my body. Even still, some things about life and its deepest questions have grown more complex. 

Life would be easier if everything that happened came with abundant clarity, if everything fits neatly into one category and if everything we experienced in life was right or wrong, black or white, and there were no gray areas in life. That would be amazing, but that rarely is our reality, is it? You will not live for very long without realizing that the number of things that fit neatly into one category of life is minimal. In fact, as I grow older I realize more and more that the number of things that I am certain belong in a closed hand is less and less and more of life is lived “in the tension”. In the tension of right and wrong, in the tension of clarity and confusion, in the tension of certainty and uncertainty. 

Some of this is the result of our obsession with explanations about the complex details of our life. In our attempt to make meaning out of things that are confusing we can have a tendency to provide simplistic explanations to very complex things. Rather than live in the tension of uncertainty, or in the tension of two things that seem opposite being true at the same time we assign neat categories to our realities and then try to cram all of life into those categories. This may satisfy our desires momentarily, but life happens. We experience the pain of life, we endure loss in life and suddenly our neat categories and clear expectations are upended. What do we do in these moments? What do we do when our simple answers that have provided comfort for most of our life no longer do? What do we do when we encounter things that we can’t control, we can’t explain, and we can’t fix? 

A simple answer to these questions is, I don't know! A more complex answer is that we learn to live in the tension of these moments. We learn to discern what are the problems of our lives and the world that need to be solved, and what are the tensions of our lives and the world that need to be held. We learn to discern the invitations of the Spirit and step into the real moments of our lives not nostalgically holding on to a version of life from our past, or idealistically holding on to a version of the future shaped from within our expectations for what problems in our lives are and what the solutions to this problems will be. What if life isn’t filled with problems that need to be solved, but more so filled with tensions that need to be held? 

For example, is the felt difference between God’s sovereignty and human responsibility a problem that needs to be solved or a tension that needs to be held? Is the felt difference between painful human experience and the goodness of God a problem that needs to be solved or a tension that needs to be held? What if we can’t provide simple answers or solutions for life's greatest problems? What if that isn’t the invitation God is making us in these moments at all? What if these moments of uncertainty, pain, confusion are invitations the Spirit of God is making us to come to God and trust Him? 

Honestly, I believe this is what living in the tension looks like. It looks less like solving problems, providing simple answers, and more about being honest with my limitations, being honest with myself and God about my weakness and need for Him. Each of these moments that are unexplainable by us are invitations to come to Him, confess our lack, and express our need for Him. Jesus both models this for us, and provides what we need to live in the tension of life. That's what He did, didn’t He? 

Some of the most fascinating passages of Jesus' life can be found as He nears His death on the cross. In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus tells His disciples that His “soul is very sorrowful, even to death” (Matthew 26:38), and invites them to be with Him and keep watch throughout that evening. In the very next verse, as Christ is praying to the Father He declares, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39). Imagine with me, Jesus is nearing capture, conviction, and death. At this moment He is feeling the weight of His life in tension. On one hand, He will face the pain of crucifixion, the loss of friends and family, and the grief and confusion it will cause His followers. On the other hand, Jesus is headed to the cross for the redemption of all who will believe. He would become the Saviour of the world, this is the moment that all of time and all of Scripture culminates in, and yet we see Jesus living in the tension, caught between impending death and all that it means, and resurrection and all that it means. Such an interesting dynamic. 

In Christ, we have both the example of what it looks like to live in tension, and what we need to be able to do it! Following his cry to the Father to let this bitter cup pass from Him, Christ says, “nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). What an expression of trust. Christ, living in the tension of all the uncertainty, all of the confusion, all of the sorrow of that moment, hears the invitation from the Father to trust Him and responds to it. This is our hope, as we face seasons of uncertainty, pain, and confusion! We look to Jesus, we look to His example, we run to Him asking Him to teach us how to trust when trusting seems impossible. We ask Him to teach us how to discern the invitations for trust when they are so faint we can’t hear them. We ask Him to meet us in our moments of doubt, worry, frustration and teach us how to respond! The tension of life is our reality, there is no escaping it. In Christ we have a friend, we have an advocate, we have an example and we have all that we need to live in the tension.

How might you be hearing God’s invitation to trust Him today? How might Jesus be inviting you to look to presence with Him in the tension of life?

Submitted By: Matthew Korte